Scandal!

Boulder couple caught blood doping preemie! A two week old baby has getting regular EPO shots in order to raise his hematocrit. The World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) has been notified in order to blacklist the child from future athletic competition. Admittedly pressure in Boulder is extremely high to produce world class althetes - with unparalleled competition to get athletic scholarships to preschool. When asked for comment the boys' father said, "I only wanted to give him a leg up on training, besides he'll be clean by the time he's competing. WADA can jam that suspension straight up its ***, besides with the joke they're making of themselves with the Armstrong thing they won't even be around much longer." The mother only said, "Would someone please just give my husband some of that EPO so he can stop whining about not being able to keep up with the average Boulderite."